How Cyberbullying Affects Teens and Fuels Substance Use

You’re at the dinner table and your child’s phone buzzes. They pick it up to check it and their face falls. You can tell they’re anxious and upset. After asking a few times, they show you their phone, revealing Instagram messages from someone in their class saying nasty things about their weight. You’re shocked. How are you supposed to navigate cyberbullying? How can you help your child?

The internet is a powerful tool—it connects people, provides information, and offers entertainment. But it also has a dark side. Social media has made cyberbullying easier, and the effects can be devastating.

Cyberbullying can have an extremely negative effect on teen mental health and potentially result in an increased use of illegal substances. It’s possible that your loved one has been cyberbullied, is a perpetrator, or has witnessed it. Learn more about it below – and how to help your loved one if you suspect they are struggling.

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying happens when someone sends, posts, or shares mean, harmful, or false content about someone else. It can also include sharing private information to humiliate someone. Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying doesn’t stop at school—it can follow kids home, happening whenever they’re online or on an electronic device.¹

Examples include:²

• Sending hurtful messages about weight, appearance, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, etc.
• Spreading fake rumors about a person to ruin their reputation
• Sharing someone’s private photos (e.g. suggestive or sexual pictures or pictures of a person’s face on the body of another person with no clothes on)
• Creating fake accounts and posting information to embarrass another person
• Threatening someone online
• Excluding someone from an online group or making “hate pages” against them

Differences between cyberbullying and other forms of bullying

Cyberbullying is different from traditional bullying in a few ways. Even though it’s not happening face-to-face, it is still just as harmful. In fact, because cyberbullying doesn’t happen in person, it can create new opportunities for a bully to harass their victim:

Anonymity: The Internet offers anonymity, meaning that people can hide behind their screen and say things they would never say in person. So, they can harass someone without the other person ever knowing who they are.

Constant access: Cyberbullying can happen anytime and perhaps more frequently. By contrast, in-person bullying might only happen when someone is at school or socializing with peers.

Harder for adults to detect: The lack of in-person contact can make cyberbullying difficult for adults to notice. At school, a teacher could overhear one student bullying another and step in, but likely won’t see the harassing messages a student is reading from their phone. Young people are also naturally under less supervision when on the internet as opposed to when they are in a physical setting.

Permanent record: Cyberbullying always leaves a trail. Most social media posts and online communications live forever, even if they are deleted. This can have consequences for both the victim and the bully. For example, sending threatening messages could lead to someone getting suspended from school, which could stay on their record and make getting into college difficult.

Cyberbullying and mental health

Bullying is considered an adverse child experience (ACE), which is associated with mental and physical health issues later in life. Youth who experience bullying in any form – whether they are bullied or bully others – are at higher risk of experiencing mental health issues compared to those who do not.

Data shows that around 50% of adolescents in the United States have experienced cyberbullying in some way.³ Those at highest risk of being bullied may:

• be in a racial or ethnic minority group
• identify as LGBTQ+
• have a developmental or intellectual disability
• be otherwise socially isolated

Additionally, the National Crime Victimization Survey found that female students were more likely to be bullied than male students.⁴ Teenage girls are also more likely to be cyberbullied.

Signs that your loved one may be cyberbullied may include:⁵

• Being secretive about their phone or computer
• Negative changes in mood and behavior
• Upset after being online
• Isolated from friends and family
• Being nervous after being online
• Sudden desire to stop using electronic devices

Effects of being cyberbullied

Often, kids who are being bullied don’t report it. They might feel ashamed or embarrassed, fear consequences from the bully, or even think that no one cares. So, it is important to know the signs of a potential bullying problem:

Behavioral problems: Young people who are cyberbullied may develop behavioral problems. These can include:

• Academic issues such as lower test scores and grades, missing classes, or dropping out of school entirely
• Self-destructive behaviors, such as running away from home
• Isolating themselves from friends and family
• Destroying or losing their things
• Being violent to others or turning to bullying themselves ⁵

Physical health concerns: A cyberbully victim might experience physical problems such as headaches and stomach aches and/or have trouble sleeping. You may also see negative changes in their eating habits.

Depression and self-harm: Cyberbullying victims may be at higher risk of developing mental health issues, especially depression, than those who experience or are involved in bullying that does not take place online. Studies have found that teens who experience cyberbullying are at a significantly increased risk of having suicidal thoughts and of self-harm (e.g. cutting, skin-picking).⁷

Substance use: Mental health and substance use disorders commonly co-occur. People experiencing mental health disorders such as depression may use substances like alcohol to cope with feeling sad or anxious, ultimately making their mental health worse. While research on the specific connection between substance use disorder and cyberbullying is limited, there is evidence to suggest that adolescents who experience cyberbullying may be at increased risk of using substances to cope.⁸

Effects of cyberbullying

Cyberbullies themselves likely struggle with low self-esteem and mental health issues that need to be addressed. In fact, research shows that many children who cyberbully others have themselves been cyberbullied.⁹ They may want to take out the hurt that they have experienced on others.

Signs that a teen is cyberbullying others include:¹⁰

• Being secretive about their time online, quickly shutting laptops or turning off phones when an adult walks in the room
• Acting nervous whenever they are on an electronic device
• Spending more time online than usual
• Becoming angry when cut off from their electronic devices

Just like kids who are cyberbullied, those who cyberbully others are also at significantly higher risk of using substances.¹¹ Teens who bully are also likely to have physical and mental health issues.

Effects of being a bystander

Children who witness cyberbullying may not know what to do or how to cope. They can also struggle with negative mental and physical health. Some research has linked witnessing cyberbullying to increased suicidal ideation.¹² One study also found that simply witnessing cyberbullying might be linked to increased substance use.¹³

What to do If your child is being cyberbullied

If you recognize the potential signs, don’t hesitate to act. Here are some steps you can take:

• Stay calm and listen. Sit down with your loved one at a time where they can give you their full attention. Let them know that their safety is your priority and that they are not in trouble. (Our articles on connecting with your loved one and navigating these tough interactions may help here.) Unless it is an extreme case, try to get the details from your loved one first before taking further action. If your loved one comes to you about their experiences, trust them and take them seriously.
• Encourage them to log off. If your loved one has been bullied, encourage them to block their harasser. Enforce household rules around digital boundaries.¹⁴ Remind them that they can always turn their phone or computer off and ignore the cyberbully, even if it’s just for a moment of relief.
• Document everything. Keep records (screenshots, printouts, etc.) in case you need them.
• Report the harassment. Consider contacting your loved one’s school or other communities they are a part of (such as a religious group). You might also consider reporting the abuse to whatever website they are experiencing it on.¹⁵ The Cyberbullying Research Center has the contact information for many major service providers. It is also important to note that some forms of online harassment, like distributing revenge porn, are serious criminal offenses, especially for minors.¹⁶ If you fear for your loved one’s safety, you can also contact law enforcement; every state has policies around cyberbullying.¹⁷
• Seek support.  If your child is struggling emotionally, consider therapy or counseling. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is also available 24/7 for free for support.

What if your loved one is the bully?

You will likely be upset if you learn that your child has cyberbullied others. But remember that young people who cyberbully others are likely struggling themselves. Some steps you can take to support them include:

• Have an open conversation. Talk with your loved one to get insight into any potential underlying issues.¹⁸ It is possible that they have been bullied themselves and/or are dealing with an undiagnosed mental health disorder. Either way, it’s important that you sit down and try to have an open, nonjudgmental conversation with them. Consider finding them therapy or counseling.
• Set firm consequences: Make it clear that cyberbullying is an unacceptable. Stop whatever they are doing immediately and investigate the extent to which they have been involved in it. Stress that their actions can have serious consequences – both for themselves and others. Teach empathy and help them understand the impact of their actions.
• Monitor online activity: To help prevent cyberbullying, consider setting online limits, applying parental controls, and generally monitoring your loved one’s online behavior. Ensure that they are careful of what they post online.

Helping bystanders take action

Witnessing cyberbullying can be hard for children. They may not know how exactly to respond and may fear that they will be bullied themselves or lose social standing if they intervene. They might even be concerned that they’ll make things worse for the victim. However, you can teach them that they can make a difference:

• Speak up when safe. Encourage your loved one to report any negativity or potentially harmful content they see to a trusted adult and/or to the platform on which they saw the cyberbullying happen. They don’t need to confront a cyberbully themselves to make a difference and should always prioritize their own safety.
• Be kind online: Reinforce the importance of being kind and empathetic towards others. Children are more likely to intervene in cyberbullying if they think morally wrong or harmful behavior is happening.¹⁹ Remind them that while they should never do anything they’re not comfortable with, bystanders have the power to help others and change the culture around cyberbullying.

Signs of substance use

Underage substance use can be prevalent amongst cyberbullying victims, perpetrators, and bystanders. Signs of substance use in young people include:

• Shifts in mood and personality (ex. being glum or touchy, withdrawn, unable to focus, angry)
• Behavioral changes (ex. changed relationships with family and friends, missing money, not interested in activities, goes out often without sharing whereabouts, secretive with their phone)
• Poor hygiene and appearance (ex. unusual smells, not showering, messier than normal, glazed eyes, enlarged or pinpoint pupils)
• Poor physical health (ex. no energy, dramatic weight loss or gain, slurred speech)

If you notice these signs, don’t hesitate to act. Seek professional help if necessary. If you know or suspect that your child is using substances to cope with being cyberbullied and are not sure where to turn, contact us for support here.

It can be frightening if your loved one is struggling with being cyberbullied, but with your support and guidance, you can help prevent the negative mental and physical health consequences.