Lily Geiger

Lily reveals what it was like growing up with a parent struggling with substance use –  including its profound influence on her life, and why it inspired her to start her own company.

Episode transcript

Elizabeth Vargas:

Lily Geiger, welcome to Heart of the Matter.

Lily Geiger:

Thank you so much for having me. It’s good to be here.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Congratulations on all your success. My gosh. Tell me how you got this idea to start this company serving non-alcoholic drinks.

Lily Geiger:

Yeah, so I actually started Figlia during the pandemic, so when everyone was drinking at an all time high. But I was mostly inspired by a lifetime of growing up with a parent who battled with alcoholism. And eventually lost my dad to alcoholism. So I was always aware from just day one of just the options that were not available for those who don’t drink. Especially those in recovery, it’s very hard to find something that doesn’t actually trigger them.

Elizabeth Vargas:

I’ve talked to a lot of people who had a parent who suffered with substance use disorder. You lost one to it. That has to have a profound impact on a person. Can you explain that?

Lily Geiger:

Yeah, it’s so hard to, honestly, I feel like I’ve come so far in being able to speak about it. But I think it’s something that a lot of people really struggle with speaking about, especially when your parent is still alive. And I think now it’s probably much easier for me to talk about it now that my father’s no longer here, just because you want to keep that integrity. You want to keep, respect their privacy, but it also is your experience.

So I think that was the hardest thing for me, was actually recognizing, “Oh, this was my experience.” I lived through that. That was really destroying my life. It’s not just an experience anymore. This is a family disease and it’s still really hard still. There are moments where I’m super angry still and try to recognize that it is a disease. But that doesn’t make it easier sometimes to just remember some of the things that I had to go through to get here.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Did your dad ever try to get sober?

Lily Geiger:

Yeah. Oh my God. My dad was on and off of sobriety for as long as I can remember. In and out of rehab, in and out of outpatient, inpatient. He was just dying to get sober. That’s why I think it’s hard because it doesn’t come in all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t look one way. I know other people who struggle with drinking. And I think that this one was something that was a really hard thing to watch for me in someone wanting so desperately to get sober and not being able to.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Yeah, I think that’s the misnomer out there with alcoholism. People just think, “Oh, well, they just want to drink that much. They want to blow up their lives.” And actually the reality is the exact opposite. The vast majority of them are desperate to quit and can’t.

Lily Geiger:

Right. Yeah, no, it’s a difficult thing to watch. It’s really hard to understand, especially as a young person too. I think. I didn’t know enough at the time about it.

Elizabeth Vargas:

You talked about your experience of it. What was your experience as a child growing up in a family where a parent was struggling with alcohol?

Lily Geiger:

Really scary. If you think about it, your parent’s supposed to be your protector. And when they’re out of control, when they’re using a substance that can make them make some pretty bad decisions, it’s really scary. And my parents were separated since I was five, so I was alone with my dad most of the time when he was under the influence. So that could mean getting in the car with your parent who’s been drinking. Or I had been embarrassed many times in public.

Just, yeah, I think it’s hard because, I was thinking about this, it almost feels like when your partner’s cheating. You know something’s going on, but they won’t admit it type of thing. And I think just that it almost makes you feel a little crazy. So when I got older, that was really hard for me. I was like, “I know you’re drinking. You won’t admit it.” And then it just feels like you’re just seeing things and it’s completely invalidated by that person

Elizabeth Vargas:

The number one job we as parents have is to make our kids feel safe. And you can’t possibly have felt safe as a child in a house like that.

Lily Geiger:

No, definitely not. That was really hard.

Elizabeth Vargas:

So how have you managed to work through that? We’re going to get to starting this company in a second. But I’m just curious because so many people in our audience are people who struggle with substance use disorder or have people who they love, who suffer with it. How as a family member did you begin to heal yourself? What did you finally have to do to save yourself?

Lily Geiger:

Actually, when I was a junior in high school, there was a moment where I drew the line. I had been dealing with this since… Knowing that it was going on since I was probably 11. So at this point I was probably 16 and I just drew the line. I was like, “I’m moving out. I can’t live like this.” It didn’t really make anything easier because I would’ve rather lived in my childhood home. I ended up living with my aunt for a while. And I think as hard as tough love is, I think that was the only reason why I was able to gain some sanity in that situation and get my life together.

I was at a point in my life where I needed to apply to college. I needed to take the SAT. I needed to really stay serious about my own life. And so I think it was really about me choosing myself and removing myself from that situation, which was very hard. And that’s really, I think, what made things worse for my dad. And knowing that, had to still make that decision and everything got worse. It was like a ticking time bomb after that. And I know that my other family members-

Elizabeth Vargas:

For him?

Lily Geiger:

For him, yeah, it was just getting worse and worse. My dad was someone who had to be hospitalized often after drinking for about a week on end. Just day, night, wouldn’t show up to work and would call us to be hospitalized. And so during that time, even though I was removed from him. When we would get calls for him to be taken to the hospital, I would still go because how can you…

At the time, it was very hard to say no to that. And I would go and stay up waiting for him to be detoxed in the hospital and nobody cares to help a drunk person over someone who just needs to get their leg amputated. And that was really hard, staying up late in the hospital with him and then going to school the next day and not being able to talk about it.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Why couldn’t you talk about it, do you think?

Lily Geiger:

I think I wanted to protect him. At this point, I don’t even know if his ego would’ve even been bruised by it because I think that it was so obvious that things were heading in the wrong direction. And I went to a small high school so everyone kind of knew, but I just think I was like, “I got to keep going.” It was too painful to talk about and I’m just getting to it now so many years later. It’ll be like eight years since my dad passed away, and I just started talking about it three years ago, pretty much, for the most part.

Elizabeth Vargas:

How did growing up like this and going through this, because honestly, it’s a trauma. It’s a giant trauma for you. Yeah. How did that impact the way you looked at alcohol?

Lily Geiger:

I feared it for a while. I think I still would participate. I was in high school, I grew up in Manhattan. Everyone was drinking hard alcohol. It wasn’t like beer in a suburban setting. And it was scary. I saw a lot of people that were my age just even need to go to rehab in high school. I went to college where people were binge drinking often. It was a normal thing. I never really took it too far. But I think now that I’ve taken a step back after the pandemic especially, I just don’t see alcohol really fitting in my life anymore.

But I just think because most of high school I had dealt with my dad’s drinking in and out of relapsing or in and out of rehab, in and out of the hospital, gone into college where my dad was getting worse. And then my father passed away when I was in college. And I also lost two other family members in college.

I think I was just on autopilot. I was like, “I just need to get out.” I can’t even really get into it. I stayed home for about a week after my father passed, I was just, “I got to go back.” So I think it took me a second to actually let it hit me, which was almost maybe during the pandemic. And it was a lot, just a lot at once. And I still feel that way now. I still feel like there’s a lot I still haven’t processed for sure.

Elizabeth Vargas:

I’m sure there is. Grief is a very long, long road. And this is a parent one of the singular most important relationships in your life. And I think what you’re talking about and describing is that funny thing where intense love can be braided up with also fear. Even resentment, “Why didn’t you keep me safe? Why couldn’t you quit?” Along with the compassion of understanding and seeing firsthand how hard it really is to quit.

Lily Geiger:

Yeah. It’s hard to understand. As a young person, you just can’t actually really make sense of that. And even still, I acknowledge it as a disease and I still feel just angry with… You just lose your relationship with that person. And that makes me angry. That that’s the way that it was when my father passed was like, “We didn’t have a relationship anymore.” And so if you feel like you’ve lost that person before you actually lose them, so you’re mourning them while they’re still alive. And that’s, I think, the hardest thing.

Elizabeth Vargas:

So you said you felt fear of alcohol. But it didn’t stop you from, you would drink, but just moderately.

Lily Geiger:

Oh, yeah. I drink moderately. I think I did that more so to fit in. And like I said, I don’t think I had even really processed a lot of this in high school and college. I definitely knew what I had seen with alcohol, so I drank with caution. But I still hadn’t really unpacked most of the stuff that I had been going through. And then I think once I had, I was like, “Wait, I’ve never really enjoyed drinking that much. Why am I doing it?” It feels like it’s just something I did to fit in and to do what my friends were doing. And now I don’t really want to do it anymore.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Because this leads us to the creation of your company, and it’s based around the whole fact that drinking alcohol isn’t just imbibing a substance. There’s a whole cultural thing around it. Going out for drinks, having a cocktail before dinner or with friends. Explain that whole culture of community that we don’t have around eating pie. You know what I mean? It’s just around drinking.

Lily Geiger:

It’s a feeling. And I think that that’s something that we try to work on recreating with Figlia is you just want that option to separate your workday to your night and relaxing. And feeling like you can clock out of work and start to unwind. And I think that living in New York City, that’s really all that everyone does to socialize. So I noticed, I moved back here. I’m from here, but I lived in California for a while. And I came back here after the pandemic and I was like, “Oh, so every Saturday we’re just going to sit at a bar all day and drink.” And that was the way that people would socialize. That was really it.

So I think, yeah, it’s a sense of community, like you said. That’s really unfortunately the reality of it. And I think that concepting Figlia for me was just trying to recreate those feelings of connection and community. But not actually feeling the pressure to drink, which I think we’re still working on as a society. People are still questioning me when I don’t drink often. If I sit… Friends that know me, of course not, but there’s still push back. And if you’re a woman over the age of 20 something, they’re like, “Are you pregnant? Is something wrong? Or are you taking… Why?”

Elizabeth Vargas:

Yeah, nobody ever says, why aren’t you having the chicken when you’re ordering your dinner? But everybody feels okay to say, “Why aren’t you drinking?”

Lily Geiger:

Right. Totally.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Yeah. You actually said that you wanted to find a nightly ritual that didn’t make you feel bad, but also tasted great.

Lily Geiger:

Yeah. Yeah. I wanted something that I was trying all the products on the market and I just really didn’t find one that I wanted to have every night. I didn’t want anything that actually mimicked the flavor or taste of alcohol. I first and foremost have created this product for the sober community. So even though a lot of our customers may not identify as fully sober, they just want to drink less. I still wanted this to be a safe option for those who can’t drink. And so it was just finding the right balance.

Elizabeth Vargas:

So having a drink that tastes like a glass of wine or tastes like a whiskey sour isn’t an option. That would be triggering to people who are trying to quit and having the issue with it?

Lily Geiger:

Or a non-alcoholic beer still ultimately tastes like beer. So I think it’s just keeping that in mind when formulating this product, wanting it to taste sophisticated but not actually trigger those tastes of alcohol.

Elizabeth Vargas:

So you actually created this thing in your kitchen?

Lily Geiger:

No, so I worked with a recipe developer in Los Angeles.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Okay. I was like, “She can’t possibly have done this at home in her kitchen.”

Lily Geiger:

No, no, no, no. And also it was during COVID, so I didn’t even really get to go there for a while. We had to just ship our samples back and forth, but it was a crazy time to do this. We came to a great formula and I’m glad we did.

Elizabeth Vargas:

I find it ironic that you launched this company during the pandemic because during the pandemic is when drinking exploded. Everybody was home, everybody was anxious, everybody was lonely. And we know from statistics that the consumption of alcohol went off the charts according to JAMA. It was massively high.

Lily Geiger:

Yeah. Yeah. No. I certainly was just looking left and right and seeing everyone around me drinking at an all time high. And I think that’s when I had had the time to really think through everything that I had seen growing up. And I was like, “I’ve had enough. I am pretty much done with alcohol. I want to find something that tastes great.” And I was trying the products in the market and I didn’t really like them enough to want to commit to them. So it was like, “There’s still a gap in this space. The idea is there, but I think that we could do it better.”

Elizabeth Vargas:

Well, the stats are unbelievable when it comes to people who are looking to try and looking to drink non-alcoholic beverages. The demand for non-alcoholic drinks is up 506% since 2015 according to Forbes. And here’s the thing, driven mostly by young adults. So what is it about young adults that they’re saying, “I’d like to go out. I want to have this fun drink in my hand or at this party or before my dinner, whatever, but I don’t want any alcohol in it. Why do you think that is?

Lily Geiger:

It’s interesting. I have a cousin who’s in college right now, and I think that he’s just not as interested. I don’t think that he enjoys being hung over. I think that there are other things that are exciting to them right now. I’m not saying they’re completely sober. They might not want to drink alcohol, but they might be experimenting with marijuana or mushrooms or psychedelics. I think that there are different things that people are choosing. I just don’t think alcohol is one of them.

I think that we live in a way more health centric world, but I also think that alcohol is not as exciting to the younger demographic. And yeah, I don’t see that stopping. I think of when I was growing up in New York City, everyone smoked cigarettes. And over time that just became a lot less popular. And I could see alcohol heading in that direction. I’m not saying it’s going to become totally extinct, but I think that people are going to become less excited by it.

Elizabeth Vargas:

A Nielsen poll in 2019 show that 66% of millennials want to drink less alcohol. So clearly there’s some sort of cultural phenomenon happening among young adults who are saying, for whatever reason, they’re doing some other substance. Or they’re just tired of waking up feeling so crappy the next morning that they want to cut back. And that’s the market you’re tapping into.

Lily Geiger:

So we definitely want to cater to those age groups, but I think that we’ve seen that even a lot of people in their 50s and 60s are really interested in Figlia. And even just those who are maybe in their late 20s, early 30s that are just done partying and want to slow down. So I can’t say we’re totally targeting that demographic. I think that they’re slowly but surely we see more purchases with Figlia, but our demographic is still probably in the age range between 30 to 50.

Elizabeth Vargas:

And the vast majority of your customers are not sober in the sense of they never, ever, ever drink. The vast majority also drink alcohol, but they just choose a lot of times not to.

Lily Geiger:

Correct. Yeah. Yeah. And that’s something that I think once people experiment maybe with a sober month, like a sober October or dry January. And see how amazing they feel. I think that a lot of people are like, “Wait, I got to rethink the way I’m drinking. I’m going to just try to sprinkle in some more NA alternatives or some alcohol alternatives.”

And I think that for us it’s been great because even though I am doing this first and foremost for the sober community, there are a lot more people that want to participate. And the more the merrier, really, I’m not going to dictate who is drinking our product. I’m glad that a lot more people enjoy it and it can be that option for them, even if it’s in between drinks.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Did you take that into account when you started your company? The fact that we are seeing so many, whether it’s on TikTok, Instagram, there are lots of communities. There are lots of people and even influencers posting about being sober or sober curious. Or as you mentioned, having dry January.

And I’ve been seeing a couple people I follow on Instagram saying, “I feel so good after dry January. I’m going to make it dry February too.” In other words, there does seem to be more and more people who are understanding. I remember interviewing, I think it was Holly Whitaker, Quit Like a Woman who said, “Alcohol’s poison. Why are we encouraging everybody to drink poison?” It is poison when you look at what is in it and what it does to your body. It is poisonous.

Lily Geiger:

And that’s another thing is I feel like as a society, we know too much now. We know so much more than we did before. And I think that the younger generations are a lot more interested in that and are watching TikTok are literally downloading information by the second. And so I think that that probably also has a huge part of this. And I agree. You think about alcohol as a drug and going back to being questioned about it. You’re often not questioned as much about other things, other drugs. But for whatever reason, people don’t want to think of alcohol as a drug or as poison because everyone is doing it seems like.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Yeah. All right. So tell me what your drinks at Figlia taste like. Describe them. You said you didn’t want it to taste like an alcoholic beverage. So what does it taste like?

Lily Geiger:

So we only have one flavor. We have a bottle and we have a can, but it’s the same flavor and it tastes like rose, bitter orange and clove. So it has a floral element to it, a little bit of spice, a little bit of bitterness, just so that it awakens your palette and it’s exciting. And it doesn’t just taste like it’s coming from a carton of Tropicana. And we put a lot of effort into that. We use a lot of extracts and different juices and things that all are natural. But I think when they come together, they do taste sophisticated. And that’s something that we spent a lot of time crafting. And it’s great.

Elizabeth Vargas:

All the ingredients are natural. There’s no preservatives of any kind or?

Lily Geiger:

No preservatives.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Okay. So it’s healthy, so not only does it taste good, but it’s healthy.

Lily Geiger:

Yeah, I like to have it every night. And I think that one of the reasons why I couldn’t really find something I wanted to have every night on the market was some of them were loaded with sugar. Or I would look at all these serotonin, heightening adaptogens, or they had preservatives in them. And I was like, this is just not something I feel comfortable consuming daily. Like my morning coffee, I want to know what’s in these products. And so that’s ultimately why we decided to cut preservatives and not have any added sugars. We just sweeten it with grape juice.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Okay. All natural ingredients. No added sugars, no preservatives. And normally you recommend that you mix it with some sort of soda water?

Lily Geiger:

Yeah, so for our bottle we say you can mix it with soda water, tonic water, ginger beer. But for our can, it’s ready to drink. So you can just pour it over ice or just take it with you and it’s good on its own.

Elizabeth Vargas:

And where do people buy it? Do you sell this online or do people buy it in stores?

Lily Geiger:

So we sell it online, but we also sell it in over 525 stores, restaurants, bars. So if you go on our website, which is drinkfiglia.com, and you just plug in your zip code, you can see how many stores are near you. And we’re always trying to get closer to our customers. So that’s always growing.

Elizabeth Vargas:

And you’re doing, paying it forward. You donate a percentage of your sales to Partnership to End Addiction, which is an organization. This organization obviously dedicated to helping families help get people the help that they need to deal with substance use disorder and any sort of mental health issues. Why did you decide to do that?

Lily Geiger:

I wanted to find an organization that actually tied back to my story that we could give a percentage of proceeds to. And one that I could actually be involved with as much as I can. So often what we’ll do is try to provide resources like how to identify if you or a loved one maybe has a drinking problem. So yeah, I wanted something that people felt like they could relate to on top of my story. I feel that the more I share my story, the more people feel comfortable in sharing theirs.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Lily Geiger, this is fascinating. The company is Figlia and it’s spelled Lily. It’s spelled F-I-G-L-I-A. Just in case our listeners are going to the store going, “Figlia, Figlia.” Are you in stores nationwide?

Lily Geiger:

We are. We’re all around.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Fantastic. Unbelievable. And are you going to come up with another flavor?

Lily Geiger:

We are. We’re working on one right now.

Elizabeth Vargas:

Well that is amazing. Congratulations. What a stroke of brilliance. And how counterintuitive to have dreamt this company and this drink up in the midst of the pandemic when everybody was pouring booze on their anxiety and isolation. You thought, “It’s got to be a better way.” And guess what? There is. Great to talk to you. Congratulations on all the success with Figlia. And I hope you have a lot more success in the future.

Lily Geiger:

Thank you so much, and thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

Elizabeth Vargas:

All right.

Lily Geiger:

It was great.