A Mother’s Love and Hate for Her Addicted Son

My son, in his late 20’s, is a wonderful young man. He is the kind of son every mother dreams of — caring, loving, always doing the right thing. He would do everything and anything to help you.

Then, without any type of warning, he misuses drugs and alcohol. When he is under the influence, there are no boundaries. He becomes a person I don’t even know. Sometimes, even his facial expression changes and I barely recognize who he is at that moment.

My son will work his head off to help out. He’ll always go that extra mile just to find that one item on your wish list. He enjoys a lot sports but his favorite is NASCAR. He could watch it from morning until night. He adores his nieces and nephews and can make you laugh when you’re down or sit and hold your hand when things get rough. He would love to have a family to call his own, but just can’t seem to find that one special person to love him.

I watched a beautiful child grow from a sweet innocent bundle of joy to a mischievous little boy. Doing all the things that little boys do. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that one day a horrible disease would strike this child and turn him in to a monster.

As a teenager, I saw changes but thought that it was just typical teenage behavior. But as days and weeks progressed, the typical turned into worry, and worry to fear, and fear into desperation.

It began with small things, until the addiction enveloped his entire life. Then it was all about how to get the money for the drugs, where to get the drugs and then how to do the drugs without anyone finding out.

My son has an addiction to cocaine and alcohol. He has no job, no insurance and feels so worthless.

He has become a liar, a thief, and a full-blown drug addict. His cocaine addiction began back when he was only 17 and his alcohol addiction did not start until he was almost 22. He had 5 years clean at the time and was doing really well. But that legal drug, alcohol — and thinking that just one wouldn’t hurt — took him right back to his drug of choice. It all hits the same part of the brain. Addiction is a brain disease.

Parents: Believe me when I tell you that the rollercoaster ride is unbelievable. The pain you endure is unimaginable, yet the world expects you to go on like nothing has happened. Families are destroyed and those who have no clue about the devastation of this disease are always quick to put you down or become blameful.

I am and always was a good parent, even without a handbook. I prayed and did all the right things. I was guided by specialists and really believed in them. I made sure I knew about all the childhood diseases, but no one ever told me about the one that is more silent then others. The one that can take a child’s life from you without you even knowing it — the disease of addiction. It creeps into your life and destroys your entire family and leaves you with pain and loss.

The pushers and dealers get richer and richer. They get your hard-earned cash, your laptops, your digital cameras, your jewelry, your family heirlooms — nothing is beyond them. They have no conscience. They don’t care what their junkie brings to them as long as it’s worth something. The person addicted will bring the dealer a thousand dollar laptop and the dealer will give him two $10 bags in return. And when that person walks away, the dealer laughs and thinks, what a fool.

Each and every one of these “addicts” deserves the chance at recovery. There are great people in recovery out there working very hard every day to make this world a better place.

I will continue to my fight for my child. I will swallow the pain and turn him in, see him in jail if that’s what it takes. But I DO NOT want to bury my child.

I know today how it really feels to have a broken heart.

Help Your Teen (through Someone Else)

If your child hears the same information you’re trying to give him from someone of authority other than you, he may be more inclined to listen.

clip art of teacher nurse and cop

409 Responses

Leave your Response
    User Picture

    Pat

    May 7, 2017 at 8:59 PM

    Hi Lynne,
    I realize that you can’t have any contact with your son given the restraining order. I hope that you focus on your own self-care as it must be so hard to wonder what is to become of him.

    I wish all of you a sense of peace and hope your son finds his way to recovery.

    User Picture

    Lynne Morgan

    May 6, 2017 at 1:15 AM

    I have had to do the same my son is Discusting I have got a court order out on him not to come near me. Believe me I know it’s heart breaking. Wear a family have done everything possible for him. He is now on his own with his heroin addiction. After threatening my 83 year old auntie if she didn’t give him money. This we every day. The only day no one seen him was on his pay day.

    User Picture

    Elizabeth

    December 12, 2016 at 5:55 AM

    I’ve grown to absolutely despise my 29yr old felon drug addict useless child. He is the biggest nastiest bully. He threatens every person on the planet. Abuses women, claims he’s a pimp, multiple felonies. It never ends. I really almost hope now his addiction has a swift ending as he terrorizes people daily and I pray he stops committing crimes against others. The beatings he gives the mothers of his children makes me heartsick…he goes to jail in Maryland and right back out! Sorry I have no sympathy but this kid had a fairytale wonderful childhood. he was born affluent with EVERY chance and opportunity but after hitting me several times? I’m done. I’m his Mother. Disgusting. I’m very sorry to all enduring a bully drug addict. In my experience after about 30 consecutive rehabs(some court ordered) it does not work and I feel like I should never have had this child at all. I feel cheated an angry like when someone sells you a lemon of a car!!!~ He’s my only child so now I am childless from someone who dreamed of multiple children it hurts,badly. If I personally felt I contributed to this at all in any way I would feel different maybe but I’m left just scratching my head. I never did substance around the kid nor did anyone else. And personally? I was the type who thought the sun rose and set in my Son. But at age 14 it was all downhill. Huge hugs to all parents suffering. These kids do not care how much they hurt us so make strong boundaries as you only have one YOU.

    User Picture

    P.Renee Hayden

    November 17, 2016 at 10:50 AM

    Hello Kathleen,

    I am a mother of an addict and I am still praying for him. I am working on a website that is dedicated to mothers and family of addicts and my focus is New Mexico since that is where my family is located and also because this state has a very serious drug and alcohol problem with little to no support for the mothers and families. I haven’t published my site yet but hopefully soon. I came across your story and have placed on my Story page with your name, date, and the name of the site that the article can be found. I hope this is okay.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *