A Mother’s Love and Hate for Her Addicted Son

My son, in his late 20’s, is a wonderful young man. He is the kind of son every mother dreams of — caring, loving, always doing the right thing. He would do everything and anything to help you.

Then, without any type of warning, he misuses drugs and alcohol. When he is under the influence, there are no boundaries. He becomes a person I don’t even know. Sometimes, even his facial expression changes and I barely recognize who he is at that moment.

My son will work his head off to help out. He’ll always go that extra mile just to find that one item on your wish list. He enjoys a lot sports but his favorite is NASCAR. He could watch it from morning until night. He adores his nieces and nephews and can make you laugh when you’re down or sit and hold your hand when things get rough. He would love to have a family to call his own, but just can’t seem to find that one special person to love him.

I watched a beautiful child grow from a sweet innocent bundle of joy to a mischievous little boy. Doing all the things that little boys do. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that one day a horrible disease would strike this child and turn him in to a monster.

As a teenager, I saw changes but thought that it was just typical teenage behavior. But as days and weeks progressed, the typical turned into worry, and worry to fear, and fear into desperation.

It began with small things, until the addiction enveloped his entire life. Then it was all about how to get the money for the drugs, where to get the drugs and then how to do the drugs without anyone finding out.

My son has an addiction to cocaine and alcohol. He has no job, no insurance and feels so worthless.

He has become a liar, a thief, and a full-blown drug addict. His cocaine addiction began back when he was only 17 and his alcohol addiction did not start until he was almost 22. He had 5 years clean at the time and was doing really well. But that legal drug, alcohol — and thinking that just one wouldn’t hurt — took him right back to his drug of choice. It all hits the same part of the brain. Addiction is a brain disease.

Parents: Believe me when I tell you that the rollercoaster ride is unbelievable. The pain you endure is unimaginable, yet the world expects you to go on like nothing has happened. Families are destroyed and those who have no clue about the devastation of this disease are always quick to put you down or become blameful.

I am and always was a good parent, even without a handbook. I prayed and did all the right things. I was guided by specialists and really believed in them. I made sure I knew about all the childhood diseases, but no one ever told me about the one that is more silent then others. The one that can take a child’s life from you without you even knowing it — the disease of addiction. It creeps into your life and destroys your entire family and leaves you with pain and loss.

The pushers and dealers get richer and richer. They get your hard-earned cash, your laptops, your digital cameras, your jewelry, your family heirlooms — nothing is beyond them. They have no conscience. They don’t care what their junkie brings to them as long as it’s worth something. The person addicted will bring the dealer a thousand dollar laptop and the dealer will give him two $10 bags in return. And when that person walks away, the dealer laughs and thinks, what a fool.

Each and every one of these “addicts” deserves the chance at recovery. There are great people in recovery out there working very hard every day to make this world a better place.

I will continue to my fight for my child. I will swallow the pain and turn him in, see him in jail if that’s what it takes. But I DO NOT want to bury my child.

I know today how it really feels to have a broken heart.

Help Your Teen (through Someone Else)

If your child hears the same information you’re trying to give him from someone of authority other than you, he may be more inclined to listen.

clip art of teacher nurse and cop

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    Rosy

    December 21, 2018 at 9:44 AM

    Im a disabled mom of an addicted son with mental issues as well. He gets really bad. Even the hardcore addicts say he is nuts. He can function fine when off drugs and on proper meds. But he has brought his friends to my house and they scare me. His new girlfriend has lost her three kids and is supposed to be getting her life together. But she cant even pass the written driving test for a learners permit. She is codependent to the max. No one will hire her. And he is now got that rep by being with her. Her ex is violent she has othe violent addict firiends and her mother was a major drug dealer and still has kept her drug friends. Im scared of these people. They come over and case the house. They disrespect me pretty quickly. Im scared they know im weak and alone alot. How could my son do this to me? I also have ptsd from a home invasion. I cant handle this. Im ready to get a restraining order against my own son. And he could really hurt himself if i cut him off. Does anyone feel this way about their adult childs friends? Why do we have to know these people?

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