Coping with Addiction & Recovery During the Holidays
Our daughter’s addiction, and newly found recovery, added to the family tension during the holidays. Here’s how we learned to cope.
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Tamra
My son is 38 and has been using for the last 10 years. I miss him. He’s physically right in front of me, but he is gone away. I feel for any family, friend etc that loves an addict. It changes who you thought you were and what your future would look like. The sadness that comes with watching a loved one fade away is sometimes unbearable. A counselor told me that no one can predict when my son’s last day of using will be. Do not ever give up hope, but do not put your own life on hold waiting. I keep hoping and moving on with my life. Today, one day, then one more. God bless all of us.
Mary
My son is 20 years old and I know how you feel Tamra – my heart breaks every day as I watch him slip a little further each day from the boy he used to be. He used to be thoughtful, caring, empathetic and now he is selfish, hurtful and disrespectful. I keep thinking that each incident will be the bottom and that he would go up from there but it hasn’t happened and I’m afraid that I will lose him forever. I don’t know how to help him, he refuses medication for his depression and refuses the help of counselling .
Brandy
My son is 25 and has lived at my home for the last 2 years. He is getting worse. He let two people stay in my basement last night even after I have threatened to kick him out. He wakes me up almost every night in the middle of the night playing music. The love that I have for him is fading, I didn’t think that was possible but I just want him out of my life. I don’t even care if he is on the streets but he won’t leave and I don’t want to involve police.
Josie Feliz
Thanks for your message Brandy. We have forwarded your message to one of our helpline specialists who can help better answer your question, and she will be reaching out to you shortly. Our Helpline is a good place to start if you’d like to talk to someone about what you’re going through. Feel free to connect with us in whichever manner you choose in the future: https://drugfree.org/helpline
Thank you. -The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids
Mm
Joe, don’t guilt yourself. Your post sounds close to my situation. We are responsible for our own actions but, it is a heavy load when one feels they are responsible for someone’s life when the other one is breaking all the rules. I understand.
Joe
Ron’s story could be our family story as well. My son, who has just turned 35, was released from state prison just 35 days ago. He has battled drug, depression and bi-polar issues since his teenage years. He has been in and out of jail, re-hab programs, half-way houses, last chance motels, and still cannot seem to have the desire to end the cycle of this behavior. He is a 35 year old man with the mind of an adolescent. He refuses to accept any help to overcome his troubles, even though we would go to the ends of the earth to take away his pain and give him a chance at life. We have spent so much over the years that was just flushed away with no solution or hope. He has been Baker Acted, released without help and back to the same circumstance. All of my family, with the exception of myself, have given up this battle, as it has taken everything out of everyone. I want to do the right thing, and at the same time I am deeply worried about the fact my abandoning him will put him over the edge, something that would be difficult to live with.
Michele
Hi Joe,
I’m not going to leave a flowery, glowing message like a lot of people do. Your son is 35 years old. And even if you do go to the ends of the earth, you are not going to change anything about your son or his attitude, his abilities or his situation. Stop enabling him.