My Journey from Addiction to Recovery: How I’m Breaking the Cycle for My Son
By sharing my journey, being present, and teaching healthy ways to cope with life’s challenges, I hope to give my son the tools to navigate his life without turning to substances for acceptance, belonging or escape.
From a young age, we’re told that drugs are bad and to “Just Say No.” But I have three simple words in reply: “Ain’t that easy.” There are so many factors that go into the decision to start using substances.
Finding Belonging Through Substances
I smoked marijuana for the first time in 8th grade when I was 14. It was about fitting in, as cliché as that sounds. I wasn’t an athlete. I wasn’t a stand-out student. This gave me a sense of community.
As high school progressed, my curiosity led me to experiment with other substances like mushrooms, acid, and ecstasy. I was chasing an escape. When you’re insecure, you tend to enjoy whatever masks those anxious thoughts or negative feelings about yourself.
I felt on top of the world when I was getting high. Looking back, it was the start of a slowly downward spiral.
The Escalation and Mental Health Connection
As I grew older and entered college, my partying reached an all-time high. I was drinking, smoking marijuana, using cocaine, and I started to misuse OxyContin. As my opioid use progressed, I went from being the life of the party to a reclusive hermit who didn’t want to see daylight.
When my girlfriend at the time moved across the country, I felt like I had lost everything. I turned to more drugs to ease that pain, and it spiraled out of control. As I self-medicated, I only made things worse. I grew more depressed than ever before—not only was life beating me down, but the drugs were taking their toll on me, my education, and my closest relationships.
In 2005, I checked myself into an outpatient methadone clinic and slowly weaned off OxyContin. Though the opioid chapter of my life was finished, I hadn’t addressed what caused me to turn to substances in the first place, so a new door to alcohol and cocaine was opened.
The Darkest Days
From 2008 to 2014, my alcohol and cocaine addiction took off. Then in 2014, my grandmother passed away from cancer, and it tore me apart.
I fell into a dark hole of despair and drowned myself in vodka and cocaine. I remember thinking, “Will the loss get any easier?”
I just wanted to feel numb. I didn’t want to face reality and would do anything to avoid feeling the pain of that horrific loss. I thought substance use was helping me cope, but it was just adding to my depression and leading me to dark places.
Finding Healthy Ways to Cope
Even though I disappointed my family and friends, they stood by me through my toughest days. I realized that when you’re at your lowest, faith, family, and friends are all you have. I was blessed to have the support I needed to get help and improve my life.
I took it one day at a time, understanding that recovery is a lifelong journey. I was determined not to let my past dictate what could be a positive, productive future. Being the best father I could be and leading by example became how I would measure my success.
I was blessed to discover running. The sport gave me realistic goals that I could set and accomplish through discipline and hard work. In the past, I felt like I was running from my demons; now I’m running toward my dreams. Running and cooking give me peace, which I share with my son. In my ten years of recovery, I’ve completed multiple half marathons, three full marathons, and my favorite—the 5Ks I’ve run with my son.
I’ve also turned my passion for cooking into a career as a private chef and a food stylist at QVC. I’ve even prepared food for Kevin Hart and Martha Stewart. Cooking isn’t just an outlet for me – it’s also an incredible way to connect with people. And I’ve had many meaningful conversations with my son while making our favorite foods.
Breaking the Cycle for My Son
I want him to understand that people make mistakes. Learning from them is how you overcome adversity and build resilience.
I’m incredibly open with my son about the missteps I’ve made in my life – and he’s seen how hard I’ve worked for the successes I’ve achieved in my recovery. That honesty and transparency is the foundation of our relationship.
I know from experience how damaging it can be when parents sweep uncomfortable conversations under the rug. So we talk about it all – the good and the bad. We celebrate the wins, and we have the tough talks.
Now that he’s in high school facing temptation and peer pressure, that connection is more important than ever. He will experience his own hardships, and he’ll get through it with my support. But I need him to be open and honest with me so that I can help him.
I never want my son to ask if he’s good enough—a question I still ask myself to this day. By sharing my journey, being present, and teaching him healthy ways to cope with life’s challenges, I hope to break the cycle and give him the tools to navigate his life without turning to substances for acceptance, belonging, or escape.
