Staging an Intervention for a Loved One

Staging an intervention for a loved one who is struggling with substance use is a big step. It’s a decision that shows you care deeply and want to help them cut back or stop using substances. An intervention means getting together with close friends, family, and professionals to talk to your loved one about how their addiction is affecting everyone. Having this conversation can be tough, but it can also be a turning point. It’s an opportunity to show your loved one that there’s hope for a healthier and happier life. By staging an intervention together, your family can help them start their journey toward recovery and a brighter future.

In this article, we’ll explore what an intervention is and if it could be effective in helping your loved one get into treatment.

What is an intervention?

Even if you’ve new to staging an intervention, you probably have a good idea of what one looks like from television: A group of friends and family surprises their friends with an intervention, which can be highly emotional. Sometimes it works, but in other instances, fights break out and/or someone storms out of the room. Of course, these are often portrayed dramatically. But what does staging an intervention look like in real life? 

An intervention happens when friends and family of an individual struggling with substance use decide they need to take action to help their loved one. In this scenario, they are concerned about their loved one’s substance use affecting their health and safety and want to motivate them to change their substance use behavior.

Interventions can be formal or informal. A formal intervention usually includes more planning and structure and is often done with the help of a mental health professional. An informal intervention might take the form of a more casual conversation.

How does an intervention work?

Usually, an intervention works by bringing together a group of people who care about someone struggling with substance use to confront them in a supportive, structured manner. The goal is to encourage the individual to acknowledge their problem and accept help. Here are some steps you can follow to set yourself up for success when staging an intervention:

Involve a professional

It’s important to have, if possible, a mental health professional involved in a formal, structured intervention. They can be a guide throughout the intervention, encouraging discussion and helping to get things back on track in times of anger and emotion. Intervention professionals may include: 

• Addiction counselors 

• Interventionist 

• Psychiatrist 

• Psychologist 

• Social worker 

• Doctor 

• Clergy member

Treatment centers and other professionals can help provide recommendations for who to contact as well. The Association of Intervention Specialists can help you find someone to support you through the intervention via their professional network.

A family member may try to be an interventionist, but it can lead to problems. They might be too emotionally involved, making it hard to stay calm and fair. Without professional training, they may not know how to handle tough situations or guide the conversation. The person struggling with substance use might feel attacked or betrayed by their family member, which can make things worse. Existing family problems can add tension, making the intervention less effective. It can also be hard for the family member to set clear rules and stay impartial. The stress of planning and staging the intervention can lead to emotional burnout. Overall, without an outside professional, the intervention might not be as successful in getting the person to seek help.

Questions to ask when hiring an interventionist

When choosing an interventionist, it’s important to ask questions to ensure they are a good fit for your family’s needs. Here are some key questions to consider:

1. What is your experience with interventions?

• Ask about their background and how many interventions they have conducted. Experience can be crucial in handling various situations effectively. 

2. What types of interventions do you specialize in?

• Some interventionists may specialize in specific methods, such as ARISE or Johnson Model. Make sure their approach matches your family’s needs. 

3. How do you prepare for staging an intervention?

• Understand their process for planning and preparing for staging an intervention to ensure it’s thorough and well-organized. 

4. Can you provide references or success stories?

• Request references or examples of past successes to assess their effectiveness and reliability. 

5. What are your fees and what do they cover?

• Clarify the costs involved and what services are included. Some interventionists offer additional support or follow-up services. 

6. How do you handle resistance from the person struggling with substance use?

• Ask about their strategies for managing resistance or anger while staging the intervention. 

7. What kind of support do you provide after the intervention?

• Inquire about post-intervention support and follow-up to ensure continued assistance and guidance. 

8. How do you involve family members in the intervention process?

• Find out how they will work with your family to prepare and participate effectively. 

9. What is your approach to working with different types of addiction or behavioral issues?

• Ensure their expertise matches the specific issues your loved one is facing. 

10. How do you ensure confidentiality and respect throughout the process?

• Confirm their commitment to maintaining privacy and handling the situation with sensitivity. 

Asking these questions will help you assess whether the interventionist is the right fit for your family’s situation and if they can effectively support your loved one through the intervention process. 

Tailor it to your loved one

When preparing for an intervention, consider these questions:

• What is important to your loved one about their substance use? How could they benefit from reducing or abstaining from use? Try to see it from their point of view. 

• If you’ve suggested treatment to them before, what went well? What did they object to? 

• Are there barriers to treatment they would have to overcome? Examples include work or school schedules, transportation, cost, childcare, pet care and established relationships. 

As an additional consideration, think about how your loved one could welcome a change: 

• What motivates your loved one? What are they interested in? Talk to them about the negative impact that their substance use has on what is important to them. 

• Propose smaller steps, like a one-time visit to a mental health professional instead of jumping into treatment. This may lower their anxiety and result in more buy-in. 

• Discuss things that your loved one may gain by stopping their substance use (increased energy, better mood) instead of what they’d have to give up (the substance itself, certain friends or activities). 

Make sure that the people included in the intervention are important to your loved one. This can include family, friends, and anyone else your loved one values. Let them see how people who have had a significant role in their life are concerned for their well-being. 

Know the costs of an intervention

The costs of staging an intervention can be different based on what you need. Here are some common expenses: 

• Professional Help: Hiring a professional interventionist can cost anywhere from $1,500 to $10,000, depending on how experienced they are and how complicated the situation is. 

• Travel Costs: If the interventionist travels to your area, you might need to pay for travel expenses like plane tickets, hotel stays, and meals. 

• Meeting Space: If you decide to have the intervention at a neutral place, you might need to rent a meeting room, which can cost money. 

• Preparation and Follow-Up: Some interventionists offer extra services like helping you prepare for the intervention and providing support afterward. These services can add to the overall cost. 

• Treatment Program: If the intervention works and your loved one goes to a treatment program, you’ll have to pay for that. Outpatient programs can cost a few thousand dollars, while residential treatment centers can be much more expensive. If your loved one has insurance, you’ll still have to meet the policy’s deductible and pay for any co-pays. 

• Other Costs: There might be other expenses like transportation to the treatment facility, legal fees (if needed), and any other unexpected costs. 

Overall, the total cost of an intervention can vary a great deal depending on what your family and your loved one need.

Other considerations

Consider where you will host the intervention. A private, more formal space is often better than the person’s home. Be flexible with time and place within reason – remember that you want this to be convenient for your loved one, so they are more likely to attend and listen. Plan for a time when you know they will most likely be sober and in control. As a group, you should also be prepared for things to change on the fly depending on your loved one’s availability.

Each person involved should plan a statement in advance to read to your loved one. The order of who speaks is important. This can be based on factors like closeness or specific things they are concerned about. The intervention specialist can help you decide the best way to go about it.

Finally, make sure you rehearse the intervention with all involved. It’s very important that everyone attends the rehearsal so you can all be on the same page as one another. You can vet each other’s statements to ensure that you’re sending the correct message and decide on the introduction, order of statements, and plans based on different ways your loved one might react.

The intervention

The intervention will usually follow these steps: 

1. Opening statements: It usually starts with the intervention specialist introducing the purpose and what’s going to happen at the meeting. 
2. Personal statements: Each individual takes turns speaking directly to the loved one, expressing their concerns, emotions, and the impact of the substance use on their lives. Remaining calm, loving, and non-judgmental are key.

This is not an opportunity to confront them with all the things that they have done wrong. If you’re angry and upset, they will likely get defensive and respond in the same way. Remember that at its core, addiction is a health problem that can lead to poor decisions. This does not excuse all their choices, but it is a reminder to stay gentle and compassionate. Keep your body language open and use positive reinforcement.

Here is a sample personal statement a family member might say during an intervention: 

“I love you so much and it hurts me to see you struggling with drinking. I remember when we used to spend time together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Lately, things have changed, and I feel like I’m losing you to this addiction. I’ve seen how it’s affecting your health, your job, and our family. The other day, when you missed our family dinner, it broke my heart because I know how much you used to love those moments. 

I want you to know that we are all here because we care about you deeply. We can’t ignore the problem anymore because we love you too much to watch you go through this alone. Please, let us help you get the treatment you need. We believe in you and we want to see you healthy and happy again. We’re all in this together, and we’ll support you every step of the way.”

3. Offer help: Be ready with multiple treatment plans and suggestions. This could include outpatient or inpatient treatment, use of medications, detox programs, counseling, and more. Be open to whatever commitment your loved one is willing to give you. Perhaps they’re not willing to enter inpatient treatment, for example, but they’re willing to see a counselor. 

If your loved one is willing to accept some form of treatment, have a plan to get them immediate help, as sometimes, motivation decreases with more time. If they seem reluctant, give them some time to think about it – perhaps a week or two. Work with your loved one on details on such as how it will impact work or school commitments (e.g., do they need to take a medical leave of absence), financial support, and the length of the program. Make sure they know that everyone at the intervention is here to support them every step of the way.

What if your loved one rejects treatment?

Don’t get discouraged if your loved one refuses help this time around; it might take several more tries and more discussion to get them to even consider treatment. Resistance and denial are natural reactions here. Your loved one might lash out and may not be receptive to the intervention no matter how you act. Even if they “push your buttons,” resist the temptation to go down any road that will lead to an argument or fight.  

It’s possible you and other members of the group may want to set boundaries for your loved one if they do not agree to receive help. Some families will no longer provide money, pay for education, or cover other expenses including housing support. Some people will reduce or end spending time or talking to loved ones until they consider seeking treatment. Others will maintain communication and let them know that the door is always open whenever they are willing to consider treatment. Your goal is to help your loved one, not to punish them.  

Think carefully about any boundaries you set; sometimes they can be motivating, while in other cases, things can get worse without any support. 

Take care of yourself as well. It’s like they say at the beginning of a flight: Put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else with theirs. That way, not only will you be safe, but you’ll be better able to help others. Prioritize your own wellbeing.

Should I try to force them into treatment?

Every state has laws pertaining to involuntary commitment, which refers to sending someone to treatment against their will.¹ These laws are in place in the event that a loved one is a danger to themselves or others or are suffering from  severe mental health symptoms that make them unable to function.

There are mixed opinions about these laws for several reasons. Many argue that it violates a person’s rights, overburdens emergency rooms and confines people in prison-like environments without actually providing evidence-based treatment.

In fact, these is very little evidence to suggest that forced treatment is effective at maintaining recovery.² A Massachusetts study found that those involuntarily committed were more than twice as likely to die of an opioid-related overdose than those who went voluntarily.³ Overall, involuntary interventions for SUD seem to be less effective than voluntary ones and may even be harmful for a person’s mental health and recovery.⁴

Are there alternatives to interventions?

Interventions can be a powerful tool in helping individuals with substance use disorders recognize their problem and take the first step toward recovery. With careful planning, professional guidance, and ongoing support, they can be a turning point in the individual’s recovery journey. If you’re not sure where to start or want to speak with a professional, you can contact our support services here.