How Your Child Feels About School Matters

Over the course of the average year, your child will spend more than 1,000 hours in school. Add more if you include extracurricular activities or study time. Not only is this time important from a learning perspective, but it’s equally important in terms of developing relationships. Feeling valued and a part of the community with peers and teachers alike is a significant protective factor against risky behaviors, including substance use.

So how can you improve your child’s sense of school connectedness? Here are some ideas:

1. Encourage your child to develop good relationships with teachers, peers, coaches, counselors and other staff at school, sharing your child’s ideas, needs and concerns. Asking the school for an older student or a teacher as a mentor can help, especially if your child feels awkward, shy or openly states that they don’t like school.

2. Help your child develop strong study habits by having books, supplies and a quiet place to work at home, at school or in the library. Some kids benefit from having a study buddy or study group, using flash cards, timers and phone apps (e.g., Quizlet, Study Blue or Be Focused) to stay on track.

   Offering incentives to get homework done can also be helpful. For example, letting your child play a video game or watch a favorite show for an hour after they get homework done (or at least an hour’s worth of work) can be a motivator.

   Assistance may be available to help with the cost of internet access, or with access to a tablet or computer, if needed.

3. Be sure to address any learning-related issues with the school such as hearing or vision problems, ADHD, dyslexia, etc. Your child may qualify for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or a 504 Plan if there are significant learning or emotional problems that need to be addressed. These plans offer extra supports such as more time on tests, use of calculators, an extra set of books at home, counseling and other accommodations to help your child succeed.

4. Stay on top of what’s happening at your child’s school by attending back-to-school night and parent-teacher conferences, reading newsletters, and logging into the school’s website. Schools often use their website to post assignments and grades in addition to information for the community.

5. Encourage your child to participate in school activities including recreational sports and clubs. Ask your child’s school about low-cost and free activities as well as scholarships if money to participate is a concern. They may also be able to address other issues that can get in the way of your child’s participation, like transportation, so ask.

6. If you are able, participate in your child’s classroom, afterschool events or home-school association to keep up with the climate of the school and key happenings in addition to how your child is doing. Don’t be shy about asking for babysitting or transportation supports if you need them to participate.

7. If English isn’t your first language and you have trouble understanding it, ask for materials translated into your native language and interpreters to help you at school meetings or events.

8. Take an active interest in your child’s day at school by asking questions like, “What was one thing you learned at school today?” or “What can I do to help you with your homework?” These kinds of questions can help you have a conversation with your child rather than a question like, “Do you have homework?” which can be answered with a “yes” or “no.”

9. Tardiness, absences, refusal to do homework, a drop in grades, quitting a team or bullying are signs of a problem. Try talking to your child about what is happening. If you can’t get things back on track, reach out to the school for help. The sooner you intervene, the better.

As mentioned above, school connectedness leads to better academic performance and is also one of many protective factors against risky behaviors, including use of alcohol and other drugs. Learn more about other risk and protective factors related to substance use.