How to Prevent Underage Drinking: What Parents Can Actually Do

What this article is about

Preventing underage drinking isn’t about finding the perfect words or making sure your child never is around alcohol. It’s about helping your child make healthy decisions, setting clear expectations and building a relationship where they feel comfortable coming to you. This article offers practical ways to talk with your child about alcohol, handle peer pressure, prepare for parties and other situations where alcohol may be present, and respond if you find out your child has been drinking. It also explains when drinking may be a sign that your child needs additional support.

Alcohol is one of the most commonly used substances among young people. The good news is that fewer teens are drinking today than in the past. Still, underage drinking can increase someone’s risk of being injured, making poor decisions, engaging in risky behavior, and having problems at school, home and with friends. Drinking can also affect the developing brain.

But parents can make a difference. What you say, how you respond and the relationship you build with your child can all help lower the risk of underage drinking. You don’t have to wait until your child is interested in alcohol to start talking about it.

Start talking about alcohol early

You don’t need to build up to one big, serious conversation about drinking. In fact, short, ongoing conversations are often more helpful than a single lecture.

Look for everyday opportunities to talk. You might see alcohol in a TV show, learn that your child is attending a party, or notice alcohol being discussed on social media.

Ask what your child thinks and really listen to their answers. This gives you a chance to understand what they already know and correct misinformation.

You might ask:

• “What do kids at your school think about drinking?”
• “Why do you think some teens drink?”
• “What do you think makes it hard for someone to say no to a drink?”
• “What would you do if someone offered you alcohol?”
• “What would you do if you were at a party and felt uncomfortable?”

Keep the conversation open. Your goal isn’t to make sure your child has the “right” answer. The real goal is to get them to start thinking about alcohol before they’re in situations involving drinking.

If you’re not sure how to start the conversation, check out our Alcohol Conversation Starters Cheat Sheet for tips.

Set clear expectations

You might assume that your child knows where you stand, but you need to tell them explicitly. Be clear that you don’t want them drinking while they’re underage.

Explain that your expectations come from your concern for their health and safety, not simply because “it’s the law.” Clear expectations work best when they’re combined with warmth and connection instead of threats and punishment.

You might say:

“I know you may be around other kids who drink. I don’t expect you to be perfect, but I do expect you not to drink. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel unsafe, call me. I will help you get home.”

Help your child handle peer pressure

Help your child think through what they could say or do if someone offers them a drink. For example:

• “No thanks. I’m good.”
• “I’m not drinking tonight.”
• “I have practice tomorrow.”
• “I’ll take a soda.”
• Change the subject or move to another group.
• Call or text you if they want help leaving.

You can even practice together. It may feel awkward at first, but rehearsing what to say can make it easier to respond under real circumstances. Our fillable, printable Practice Sheet for Handling Alcohol & Other Drug Offers can help you get started.

Talk about why teens may want to drink

Know your family's risk factors

Some young people are more vulnerable to developing problems with alcohol than others.

A family history of substance use problems can increase a child’s risk. Mental health concerns, trauma, stress, social difficulties and other factors can also play a role.

If any of these risk factors apply to your child, it doesn’t automatically mean that they will develop a problem. Risk is not destiny. You may simply want to have more frequent conversations about alcohol, pay closer attention to changes in your child’s behavior, and be prepared with resources for prevention and early support.

If you’re worried, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. A pediatrician, primary care provider, mental health professional or substance use professional can help assess what’s going on and recommend next steps. Asking for help is a strength. And doing so early can prevent a seemingly small problem from becoming a bigger one.

Our free and confidential helpline specialists are available to listen to your concerns and provide suggestions on where to go next.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best way to prevent my child from drinking?

There isn’t one strategy or magic spell that guarantees your child won’t drink. A combination of clear expectations, open communication, parental monitoring, strong family connection and support for healthy ways to cope with stress can help lower the risk.

Should I tell my child that drinking is illegal?

Yes. But don’t make the law your only argument. Instead, explain why you’re concerned about drinking at a young age, including the risks to safety, judgment and health.

What if my teen says, “Everyone drinks”?

Try not to argue about whether “everyone” does. Instead, have an open conversation. You might say, ”It sounds like it feels pretty normal at school. What do you think about it?” This gives you a chance to understand what your child is seeing and help them think critically about what their peers are doing. You’re their most important source of information, so it’s worth noting the facts: that fewer young people are drinking than ever.

Should I let my teenager drink at home so I can teach them how to drink responsibly?

Allowing your teen to drink at home does not teach them that alcohol is safe or prevent future problems. In fact, research shows that letting your kids drink at home can do the opposite and increase the risk that they’ll have issues with drinking later on. Instead, focus on helping your child understand the risks, make healthy decisions and develop skills for handling situations where alcohol is present.

What if I drank as a teenager?

Be honest without glamorizing your own experiences. You can share what you learned, including mistakes you made and consequences you experienced. Your story can be useful if it helps your child think about their own choices differently.

What if my child has already started drinking?

Find out how often they’re drinking, how much, where they’re drinking and what’s happening around the drinking. Pay attention to whether alcohol is affecting school, relationships, mood, activities or safety. Then, decide whether you need to increase monitoring, set new limits, or seek professional support.

Does a family history of addiction mean my child shouldn’t drink at all?

A family history of alcohol or other substance use disorders can increase risk. That makes prevention and early intervention especially important. Talk openly with your child about your family’s history and why it matters. Don’t frighten them; give them information that helps them make informed decisions.

When should I worry that my child’s drinking is becoming a problem?

Look at their drinking patterns and potential impact, not just one incident. Repeated drinking, drinking more than intended, strong cravings, problems at school or home, risky behavior, blackouts, or continuing to drink despite negative consequences are all reasons to take a closer look. If you’re concerned, consider talking with a health care or behavioral health professional.

What should I do if my child comes home drunk?

First, make sure they are safe. Don’t leave them alone if they are severely intoxicated. If they are difficult to wake, having trouble breathing, vomiting repeatedly, having a seizure or showing other signs of alcohol poisoning, seek emergency medical help right away. Even if they’re not in immediate danger, it’s always best the conversation about what happened for when your child is sober and you are both calm.

What if my child won’t talk to me about drinking?

Don’t give up. Keep conversations short and low-pressure. Sometimes talking while driving, walking, or doing something together feels easier than sitting face-to-face. You can also say: “You don’t have to talk about this right now. I want you to know I’m here when you’re ready.” Your goal is to keep the door open.

Where can I get help if I’m worried about my child’s drinking?

Start with your child’s pediatrician or primary care provider. A mental health or substance use professional can also help you understand what is happening and whether your child needs additional support. If you’re not sure where to start, get support for yourself. You don’t have to wait until your child’s drinking becomes a serious problem before asking for guidance.