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    Positive Parenting for Teens: Practical Tips That Work

    Setting Limits, Monitoring Behavior

    Rules mean you care about your child and his or her safety. Don't feel bad about setting limits — your child needs them.
    Positive Reinforcement

    Providing some kind of reward to increase the chances that a healthy behavior will be repeated is central to helping change your child's substance use.
    Parental Modeling

    Among all the recommended strategies out there for “effective parenting,” there are 10 key strategies that can really move the needle and one key strategy that can either increase or decrease the effectiveness of the other nine: parental modeling or how parents and caregivers act.
    Having Tough Conversations

    During their teenage years, children’s brains are still developing, and continue to do so until their mid-20s or later. Substance use during this time period can negatively interfere with this development. It’s vital to intervene you're worried about your teen using substances. In this guide, you'll find answers to questions caregivers like you have about talking to your loved one and keeping them safe.

    What Is Positive Parenting?

    Positive parenting for teens means staying connected to your child with warmth, support, and clear rules. It’s about being kind but firm, listening without judgment, and guiding your teen in healthy ways. You can still say “no” when needed, but the way you say it matters.

    Why It Matters for Substance Use and Risky Behaviors

    Teens are more likely to take risks when they feel stressed, don’t feel close to family, or think no one’s paying attention. Using positive parenting can lower the chances your teen will drink, vape, try other drugs or do other things that could harm them.

    Positive Parenting Tips

    Stay connected. Make time to talk, eat meals together, or just check in. Ask about their day—and really listen.

    Try saying: “Tell me more about what happened at school today.”

    Set clear rules and expectations. Let your teen know what behaviors are okay and not okay—and why. Setting limits and having consequences is important for shaping behaviors.

    Example: “I care about your safety, so we have a rule of no drinking. If you’re ever in a situation where you feel unsafe, you can always call me.” 

    Praise the good stuff. Notice and praise their efforts and choices, not just their results. These kinds of words can encourage the behaviors you want to see in your child.

    Say something like: “I saw how you helped your sister earlier—thank you.”

    Use “teachable moments.” Use things you see on social media, in the news, or in your community to start conversations.

    Example: “What do you think about that show where the teen got caught with pills? What would you do in that situation?” 
     
    Be a role model. Your actions speak louder than your words. Talk to your teen about how you make healthy choices.

    Learn more about how your modeling matters. 

    What If Your Teen Is Already Taking Risks?

    Don’t panic—but don’t ignore it either. Stay calm and talk with them when things are quiet. Let them know you’re concerned because you love them. 

    Say something like: “I found out you’ve been vaping. I’m worried about your health, and I want to understand what’s going on.” Or check out our information on having tough conversations about substance use. 
     
    Offer support. And if needed, reach out to a counselor, healthcare provider or support group. You can always connect with our free, confidential helpline. Our specialists can listen to your concerns and help you develop a plan of action. You don’t have to do it alone.

    Final Thoughts

    Raising a teen isn’t easy, but you’re not powerless. Your love, attention, and guidance matter more than you think. Keep showing up, keep talking, and keep believing in your teen. With positive parenting for teens, you can help them stay on track—even through the tough years.