My name is Tanner and I'm a 16 year old addict with just over 9 months clean. I have a long and detailed story starting with me drinking a the age of 11. Soon it was weed then pills, x, cocaine, heroin, meth or any thing else that made me feel different because my whole life I have felt different than everyone else. But drugs made me feel different. They made me feel whole. It was like there was a hole in my chest and drugs filled it. But as I went on it took more and more to try to fill it and to fill it I needed money and to get money I would steal, rob, I hustled. Whatever it took to get money for drugs. And through all this I lied and kept it away and out of the sight of my family 'til they found my stash, which pushed me over the edge. I had been depressed and was going crazy thinking about killing my self but them finding out decided my fate. When they went to bed I took two bottles of hydrocodones and went to sleep 'til the next day. I woke up late that afternoon alive. Well, soon my parents decided to search my room again that day, finding my sucide note in the mirror whitch led to a trip to the hospital and a stream of tests to make sure I would live. Then a ride to a mental hospital where I was first introduced to recovery. But I left still broken and soon relapsed and then tried to kill myself again. And then again back to rehab, mental hospital, shipped off to long term for what was sposed to be 9 months. Well I learned that trying to kill myself was not the way but did not mean I was not going to stop using. Several more over-doses, back to rehab after being tripping, for 3 days in the hospital. But when I came to I know I was done. I was tired, scared and had come to a cross road of recovery or death. I decided to go to rehab and give it my all. And I fell in love- I fell in love with recovery, NA, step work, helping others, doing service work, spreading the word. I am happy to say today I'm driving, I have a job, I'm going to a sober high school I am looking forward to my one year clean and many years after.
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