My daughter got introduced to drugs by my stepdaughter when she was 14 years old. At first it was pot, then she steadily tried stronger drugs. She became pregnant at age 15. After that due to the stress of having a child so young she used drugs to deal with her anxiety.
Before long she had two more babies. She became a part-time mom. She would disappear for days at a time, thinking we as her parents weren't smart enough to know what she was doing. My husband and I had discussed the possibility that we may need to take custody of the children. But before we got that far she took her kids and moved out. But that didn't last very long. She came back, but she hid away from everyone, and when she showed herself all she could do was to yell at her kids. She wasn't able to handle the everyday ritual of being a responsible parent. We finally told her she had to leave, so she did and we kept the kids. It wasn't long when she was charged with possession and placed on probation which she violated and ended up in jail.
I would not bail her out, but my father did behind my back. But one of her conditions was a 30-day inpatient rehab. When a bed finally came available she went, mad as hell. She didn't want to be there, and she said it wouldn't do any good. After about four days she called me crying and saying she was so sorry for what she put us through. For the first time in 10 years she was finally sober and was seeing what other people already knew. I was crying on the phone with her, but I was still worried about how she would do after she got out. Because that's when the hard part starts.
I went to visit her while she was in rehab, and when I laid eyes on her I knew instantly that my daughter was back. For the first time in years I saw that little angel I raised. But of course I was still concerned about how she was going to do when she was out and had to face reality on her own. But my fears were replaced with joy. She moved away from all the people she hung around with and started a new life, and it wasn't easy. The children weren't used to a mom who was there and doing what a responsible parent is supposed to do. It took awhile for her to let her kids know and be assured that she wasn't going to be gone for days on end. It was a new start for all of them.
It's been almost two years now and I am proud to say she has stayed clean and sober. Her record has been expunged and now we face each day without fear of where she's at and how she's doing. She is a success story. She had to face her demons and reconcile herself to forgive herself, because you can't go back and change it. You have to learn from your mistakes and live each day with the knowledge you've learned from your past and make the children the first priority. And she has. I thought at one time that she was gone for good, she prove that with prayer and the support of her family you can make it. The children are all doing very well at home and at school.
We're all so very overjoyed at her rebirth. She is still dealing with the guilt of what she put her kids and us through. But I tell her not to dwell on that, just be who you need to be and forgive yourself. That's all I need to hear.
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