A Quick Parent Checklist Most parents don't need a checklist to know something feels off when it comes to alcohol use — they already sense it. This guide is for that moment when you're not sure whether to say something, wait and see, or act. It won't give you a score or a diagnosis. What it will do is help you name what you're noticing, understand what it might mean, and know what to do next. Work through it honestly, trust your gut, and remember: checking more boxes doesn't make you a bad parent. It makes you a paying-attention one.

Use this checklist to help you think about your teen’s drinking.
You don’t need a score—just notice patterns and trust your instincts.

Things You May Notice (Still Worth Talking About)

Common experiences that don't require alarm, but do deserve a conversation.

These are chances to start conversations early. Try saying something low-key like: “I heard there was drinking at that party—what was that like?” You’re not accusing, just opening a door.

Things to Pay Attention To

Patterns worth watching more closely and checking in on regularly.

These are signs to check in more often and ask questions. Have a direct but calm conversation this week. Every time they go out, ask where they’re going, who they’ll be with, and how they’re getting home. Consider setting a check-in text or curfew time.

Red Flags

Signs that something may be developing and that waiting is no longer the right move.

Don’t wait for a crisis. Have a serious, private conversation during a calm moment. Set clear expectations and consequences. Consider talking to your teen’s pediatrician or another healthcare provider, who can screen for alcohol use without judgment.

Serious Concerns (Act Now)

Situations that have already crossed into unsafe territory and need outside support.

These are medical and safety situations — don’t handle them alone. Call your teen’s healthcare provider this week. If your teen is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to an ER.

What Should You Do Next

A Quick Reminder for Parents

✔ You don’t have to wait for things to get worse
✔ You don’t need proof to start a conversation
✔ Staying calm helps your teen open up
✔ Small steps now can prevent bigger problems later
✔ Asking for support doesn’t mean you failed — it means you’re paying attention.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal for teens to experiment with alcohol?

Some experimentation is common, but it isn’t risk-free, and patterns matter more than any single incident. Underage drinking is never “safe,” but a one-time slip is different from a recurring pattern. Pay attention over time, stay engaged, and reach out for support if you notice drinking becoming more frequent or tied to mood, secrecy, or safety.

How can I tell the difference between normal teen behavior and a drinking problem?

A few mood swings or a late night don’t necessarily mean a problem. Concern grows when you see several signs at once, when they appear suddenly, when any one of them is severe, or when drinking starts to affect school, friendships, mood, or safety. Frequency and secrecy are the patterns to watch.

Should I drug- or alcohol-test my teen?

Testing is a personal decision and isn’t always the right first step — it can damage trust if it feels like a trap. Many parents start with a calm, direct conversation, and a pediatrician can screen for alcohol or substance use confidentially. If you’re weighing it, talking it through with a specialist first can help.

My teen denies drinking but I’m still worried. What should I do?

Trust your instincts. You don’t need proof to open a conversation. Stay calm, share what you’ve noticed without accusing, and keep the door open. If the worry persists, a healthcare provider can screen without judgment, and our helpline can help you plan the conversation.

When should I get professional help for my teen’s drinking?

Reach out if drinking is frequent, secretive, tied to coping with hard feelings, or affecting daily life — and immediately if there’s a blackout, alcohol poisoning, drinking and driving, or any safety risk. You don’t have to wait until things reach a crisis to ask for help.