When you think about protecting your teen from substance use, teachers might not be the first people who come to mind. But here’s the truth: a good parent teacher partnership can be a powerful factor in substance use prevention.

Teens who feel connected at school are less likely to experiment with substances. When parents and teachers communicate and work together, it strengthens that connection. Teens see that their parents and teachers are paying attention and care about their future. This sense of belonging and accountability reduces the risk of turning to alcohol, nicotine, marijuana or other drugs as a way to cope.

Why Parent-Teacher Relationships Matter

School is where your teen spends a huge part of their day. Teachers see how your child behaves with peers, how they handle stress, and whether their schoolwork is slipping. You, as a parent, see the bigger picture at home—friendships, moods, and daily habits. When you and your teen’s teachers share what you notice, you both get a clearer view of what’s really going on.

A strong relationship between teachers and parents can help them both:

• Spot changes early. If a teen starts withdrawing, falling behind in school, or acting differently, both teachers and parents can notice and act quickly.
• Send a united message. When teens hear consistent expectations from home and school—like the importance of staying substance-free—it sinks in more deeply.
• Show teens they are supported. Knowing that the adults in their life are connected gives teens a stronger sense of safety and belonging, which lowers the chances they’ll turn to substances.

What Parents Can Do

1. Reach out early.

Don’t wait for a problem to pop up. Send a quick email at the start of the school year introducing yourself and letting the teacher know you want to be a partner in your teen’s success. Try to attend Back to School nights and other events that can let you know more about what is happening in the school.

2. Ask about more than grades.

If your school offers tools to monitor homework and grades, be sure to use them. When you talk to their teachers, ask about effort, friendships, and how your teen handles stress. These pieces of information can give you clues about how your teen is coping overall.

Here are some conversation starters that may help:

• “How is my child doing in class beyond grades—things like participation and effort?”
• “Have you noticed any changes in how they’re getting along with other students?”
• “Are there areas where you see them thriving that I can encourage at home?”
• “If you notice my child struggling or pulling back, would you mind letting me know so we can work on it together?”
• “What’s one thing I could do at home to better support their learning?”
• “My child mentioned feeling discouraged about a grade. Could you walk me through how you assessed the work so I can help them understand?”

3. Participate when you can.

Showing up—whether for a school play, a parent-teacher meeting, or volunteering at an event—sends a strong message that school is important. It also gives you more chances to connect with teachers and other parents. Here are some ideas:

• If you have the time, consider volunteering at a fundraiser, helping with a sports team, or joining the parent association.
• If your schedule is packed, even small efforts matter. Attending one event a semester, helping from home with a project, or showing up for parent night makes a difference.

4. Share your insight.

Let teachers know if something is going on at home—a move, family stress, or even just that your teen’s been extra tired. This helps teachers respond with more understanding.

5. Handle concerns calmly.

Sometimes your teen may feel like a teacher is being unfair—maybe they think they were graded too harshly or that the teacher singles them out. These situations can be tricky, but they’re also a chance to model respectful problem-solving.

First, listen to your teen’s point of view fully. Next, contact their teacher in a calm and curious way.

Example: “My son felt discouraged when he got a lower grade than expected. Could you help me understand how it was graded so I can better support him at home?”

6. Work with the school counselor.

Teens often have several teachers, which can make communication feel overwhelming. A school counselor can be your ally. They usually know the big picture—grades across subjects, how they are getting along with other students, and resources the school can offer.

• Reach out if you need help coordinating with multiple teachers.
• Ask the counselor for ideas if your teen is struggling with stress, friendships, or motivation.
• If you’re worried about substance use, counselors can connect you with prevention programs or community resources.

 

7. Consider reaching out if you suspect substance use (like vaping or drinking).

Parents sometimes wonder whether to bring concerns about possible substance use to their teen’s school. Here are some things to consider:

• Start with your teen. Have a calm, open conversation at home first. Share what you’ve noticed and express concern, not judgment.
  • Example: “I found a vape in your backpack. I’m worried about your health. Can we talk about what’s going on?”
• Decide if the school needs to know. We know this is a very personal decision as some schools lean into punishment and will include concerns about substance use on your child’s record. If you feel comfortable, it may help to let a counselor or administrator know. Your child’s school may have support programs to suggest.
• Keep the focus on support. When reaching out, frame it as wanting to work together.
  • Example: “I’m concerned my daughter may be vaping. I’d like to make sure she feels supported here at school as well as at home. Are there resources we could connect her with?”

What to Do if the School Calls About Suspected Substance Use

If the school calls to say your teen may be high or using substances, it can feel scary, upsetting, or even embarrassing. Take a deep breath—this is a moment to focus on safety and support, not shame.

1. Stay Calm When You Get the Call

Take a breath before reacting.

Remind yourself: your child needs help and guidance, not panic or shame.

2. Go to the School

Pick up your child if asked.

Be respectful and cooperative with school staff.

Ask for clear details about what happened (time, place, what staff noticed, and what your child had with them).

3. Ask About Next Steps

Request a copy of the school’s code of conduct so you know the rules.

Clarify the consequences (suspension, expulsion, loss of activities, or possible police involvement).

Ask if there are alternative supports, like counseling, substance education programs, or community referrals. The school may also be able to offer schooling in your home for a period of time so that your child doesn’t fall behind.

4. Focus on Safety

Make sure your child is okay physically — if needed, get a medical check.

Remove them from unsafe situations (friends, parties, access to substances).

5. Talk With Your Teen (When Calm)

Use open-ended questions:

“Help me understand what was going on today.”

“What made it feel like using was the best option?”

Listen more than you talk at first. Avoid lecturing.

6. Get Help if Needed

Ask the school counselor about resources.

Reach out to your pediatrician, a mental health provider, or a substance use specialist.

If use continues or seems serious, consider an assessment from a treatment provider. This may be a requirement of the school regardless of how severe the substance use is.

7. Think Long-Term

Set clear expectations about school and substance use.

Keep the conversation going, not just a one-time talk.

Watch for red flags like mood swings, slipping grades, or new risky friends.

Parent-school partnerships play a powerful role in protecting teens from substance use. By showing up — whether that means volunteering when possible, attending school events, building open communication with teachers, counselors, and administrators, or calmly handling difficult situations like a call about suspected use — parents send their children a strong message: you are not alone, and the adults in your life are working together to support you.