Why Are Teens So Stressed?

Being a teenager today is harder than it used to be. Teens face stress from many directions:

• Schoolwork and Grades: Many teens worry about doing well in school and getting into college, even in middle school or early high school. Tests and homework demands can add to the pressure.
• Social Life: Making friends, fitting in, dating and handling peer pressure can be tough.
• Family Issues: Divorce, conflict at home, or money problems can add to a teen’s stress.
• Social Media: Teens compare themselves to others online, which can lower self-esteem and cause anxiety.
• Big Life Changes: Moving to a new school, dealing with illness, or going through a breakup can also be very stressful.

Signs Your Teen Might Be Stressed

Teens might not always tell you they’re stressed, but you can look for signs like:

• Changes in sleep or eating habits
• Headaches or stomachaches
• Feeling sad, angry, or anxious
• Withdrawing from friends or activities
• Trouble concentrating
• Falling grades or skipping school

Stress and Substance Use: The Connection

When teens feel stressed and don’t know how to cope, they might turn to unhealthy choices—like using alcohol, vaping, or taking pills—to escape or numb their feelings. They may think these substances will help them relax, but the relief is only temporary. In the long run, it can lead to more serious problems, including addiction, depression, or trouble at school and home.

7 Ways to Help Your Teen Manage Stress

1. Listen Without Judging

Let your teen talk without jumping in to fix things right away. Just being heard can be a huge relief.
Example:
If your teen says, “I hate school,” try:
“That sounds tough. What’s been going on?”

2. Keep Routines Steady

Having regular routines—like meals, bedtime, and family check-ins—can help teens feel more secure and less overwhelmed.
Example:
“Let’s eat dinner together each night with no phones. I’d love to hear about your day.”

3. Encourage Breaks and Downtime

Help your teen find time to relax. This might mean taking a walk, reading, drawing, or just having quiet time away from screens.
Example:
“Want to take a quick break and watch something funny or go for a drive?”

4. Promote Physical Activity

Exercise is a natural stress reliever. Encourage your teen to be active in a way they enjoy, like dancing, biking, or playing sports.
Example:
“Let’s both stretch or walk outside—it doesn’t have to be long, but it helps.”

5. Teach Problem-Solving

Help your teen break big problems into smaller steps. Work together to come up with realistic solutions, instead of avoiding the issue.
Example:
“What’s one assignment you could work on today to feel more in control?”

6. Talk About Substance Use

Let your teen know that using drugs or alcohol isn’t a healthy way to cope with stress. Explain the risks and offer better options.
Example:
“Some kids try vaping or drinking to deal with stress, but it can make things worse. I’m here if you ever feel pressure like that.”

7. Be a Role Model

Teens learn by watching. If they see you managing stress in healthy ways—like taking deep breaths, talking about your feelings, or going for a walk—they’re more likely to do the same.
Example:
“I’ve had a rough day—I’m going to listen to music and breathe for a bit. That usually helps me calm down.”

Conversation Starters

These simple phrases may help as conversation starters to talk with your teen about stress, coping, and substance use.

Start the Conversation

• “You’ve seemed stressed lately. Want to talk about it?”
• “School seems like a lot right now. How are you doing?”
• “What’s something that’s been bugging you lately?”

Show You’re Listening

• “That sounds hard.”
• “Thanks for sharing that with me.”
• “Tell me more—I want to understand.”

Normalize Stress

• “Everyone feels stress sometimes—even adults.”
• “It’s okay to feel this way. You’re not alone.”
• “Let’s figure it out together.”

Offer Healthy Coping

• “Want to take a break together?”
• “What usually helps you when you’re feeling stressed?”
• “We don’t have to fix it all today—just one small step.”

Talk About Substances Honestly

• “You may see other teens using stuff to deal with stress, but that can backfire.”
• “If you ever feel curious or pressured, I hope you know you can talk to me.”
• “Let’s find better ways to feel good and stay safe.”

 Reassure and Stay Connected

• “You’re not alone—I’ve got your back.”
• “It’s okay not to be okay sometimes.”
• “I’m proud of you for talking about this.”

When to Get More Help

If your teen’s stress seems too much to handle, or if you notice signs of substance use, don’t wait to get support. Talk to a school counselor, doctor, or mental health professional. Or connect with our helpline here to talk over your situations and get free, confidential suggestions and resources to help.

Stress is a normal part of life, even for teens. But when it builds up, it can take a toll on their mental health and lead to risky behaviors. By staying connected, listening, and offering support, you can help your teen learn healthy ways to handle stress and avoid the dangers of substance use. Your support makes a big difference.