It’s said that it takes a village to raise a child. In today’s environment, that may be more true than ever. Wouldn’t it be great to have an extra set of hands to help you help your child become the best version of themselves that they can be? That’s where a teen mentor can make a big difference.
The right mentor paired with your child can bring out their confidence and self-esteem while protecting them against risky behaviors, including substance use. Think of your teen as a tree—mentors are like roots that help them grow. They provide connection, stability, encouragement, and opportunities to thrive.[1]
Raising a healthy child can feel tough regardless of the circumstances. But being a teen can also be very difficult, as growing up in today’s world comes with many challenges.
Nearly 4 in 10 young people feel lonely. This is especially true for teens going from middle to high school, a time when challenges increase. Research shows that students lose motivation to participate in class over time, which is even more common for boys, students of color, and less‐wealthy teens.[2]
That’s where a trusted adult or mentor can make a difference. They are not meant to replace a parent but rather they can greatly benefit kids even when they have a good, full relationship with a parent.
A trusted adult in the life of a teen from an underrepresented background (such as people of color, LGBTQ, or people with disabilities) can make a big beneficial difference. This is true only if the mentor is knowledgeable about the specific background of the teen.
A positive, stable adult in your child’s life is a very strong protection from nicotine, alcohol and other drugs Here are just some of the many benefits:
Young people’s development is rooted in their community and their relationships. So, a stable bond with a supportive adult or a group of positive, healthy friends can improve their future and give kids a chance to connect and succeed.[3]
Studies have found that “just” by listening, one trusted adult can have a big impact on a young person as they show less risk-taking behavior and higher self-esteem. They also improve the physical and mental health of a teenager.[4]
In general, teens with mentors are more confident and likely to feel supported in their mental health and overall well-being.
All teens face risk factors for developing a substance use disorder, which means the things in their family history and their environment that can trigger addiction. A trusted adult can help to counter those risks, acting as a powerful protective factor.
According to a recent study, young people who met regularly with a mentor are 46% less likely than their peers to start using illegal drugs and 27% less likely to start drinking.[5]
According to one study, one of the strongest benefits of mentoring, regardless of the teen’s background, is reducing depressive symptoms.[6] This is very important as one in five young people reported worrisome levels of depressive symptoms. These are predictors of substance use disorders later in life.[7]
Mentoring may help to reduce the negative effects of racial discrimination on non-white minors and teens. More specifically, studies show that they support Black male youth’s social skills and emotional development, creating a sense of safety and belonging.
Research points out that to reduce the cultural mistrust Black kids may have about a mentor of a different background, it is important that the mentor receives appropriate training on issues of race, culture, and gender.[8]
Formal and informal mentors can help first-generation immigrant teens and asylum seekers learn more about the culture in their communities. They can help with the teens’ connection with school and serve as bridges to the culture in the United States.
It is important that the mentor or trusted adult knows or is trained about the specific cultural backgrounds of the teen.[9]
A good mentor can be especially beneficial to a teen from a low-income community whose parents often work long hours. These relationships can provide the guidance and support they need to problem-solve and thrive.[10]
Research shows that teens with a mentor often do better in school. They get better grades, attend classes more regularly, and are less likely to take part in risky behaviors like substance use or violence.[11]
Mentors also boost teens’ confidence in handling school challenges, with over 80% of kids saying their mentor helped them with schoolwork and education.[12]
For teens living in low-income households, a trusted adult can make a big difference, as those with a mentor are 55% more likely to be enrolled in college than those who do not have one.[13]
Mentors can help teens handle challenges with family, friends, and school. They teach life skills, offer healthy coping strategies, and build confidence. Mentors also help teens bounce back from problems, giving them the resilience they need to succeed.[14]
Teens with mentors also tend to become more involved in their communities and develop stronger social and emotional skills. Trusted adults can even help improve a teen’s relationship with their parents by offering guidance and stability.
Group activities not only teach responsibility but also help your child build social skills and feel a sense of purpose.[15]
If you want to learn more about the specific risk factors for problems with alcohol and other drugs that your child may face and protective factors you can use to counter their risks, take this 7-minute quiz.
Finding that trusted person isn’t always easy. Start by looking at the caring adults already in your teen’s life. Who do they feel connected to? These adults might be the best people to continue offering support.
“Natural” mentors are often extended family members like aunts, uncles, or older cousins. They can also be family friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, or religious advisors. Building a positive relationship with one or more of these people can help your teen build resilience and face challenges with confidence.[16]
If these connections don’t happen naturally, consider asking someone to step in as a mentor. You can also encourage your teen to reach out to someone they trust for guidance and support.
If you don’t have a network of trusted adults to support your child as they grow, start building connections in your community. The goal is to introduce your child to positive role models who can guide and inspire them.
One way to do this is by asking your child to volunteer at places like a food bank, animal shelter, or community event. Joining a local community center or forming friendships with neighborhood families can also create opportunities.
You can also check out libraries, local newspapers, and online resources, which often list community programs and opportunities that might fit your family’s needs.[17]
If you’re not sure where to start, ask your teen’s teacher or school counselor for advice. Additionally, organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters or the National Mentoring Partnership can connect you with formal mentoring programs.
A good mentor can make a positive impact on a young person’s life. Think about a teacher, coach, or supervisor who once boosted your confidence—your teenager can benefit from having a similar person in their corner.
A mentor is someone who offers support and models good values. They can offer realistic and helpful encouragement, advice, and concrete assistance when needed.
A great mentor genuinely wants to be involved in a young person’s life. They should be respectful, good listeners, and flexible. Empathy is key, as well as the ability to help your teen see solutions and opportunities and boost resilience and life skills.
If your teen is a person of color, it’s important to find a mentor who approaches the role with humility, self-awareness, and an understanding of their own background.[18] A mentor from a different background can help your teen appreciate diversity and see the world from new perspectives. However, the mentor should also honor your family’s culture and values while encouraging your teen to find their own voice.[19]
A mentor should meet with your teen regularly for fun and meaningful activities. These outings should be something your teen enjoys and feels comfortable with—and you should know about and approve of them in advance. Activities could include:
Sometimes, the mentor’s family might join in, giving your teen a chance to expand their social connections and build a broader support network.[20]
By fostering confidence, building life skills, and reducing risky behaviors like substance use, mentors provide an important layer of support beyond what parents can offer alone.