Your Child’s Treatment & Recovery Roadmap: A Guide to Navigating the Addiction Treatment System
What kind of addiction treatment is best for your child? What should you look out for? How will you pay for it? Use this guide to help you decide.
A mother wrote to me: Things are better at the moment, but we have ups and downs. I am working on the “loving with detachment” issue. I spend hours each day trying to look at where I went wrong as a parent or what I should have done differently. I’ve been to Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, and private counseling, but the pain is always there. The best advice I ever received was from my pastor/counselor who told me to, “Keep on telling her you love her and mean it, because you’ll never regret those words.”
My Reflection: There is a Tibetan expression, “Even if the rope breaks nine times, we must splice it back together a tenth time. Even if ultimately we do fail, at least there will be no feelings of regret.”
The Director at San Patrignano said it a different way, stagli vicino – stay close to him. Loving with detachment was a hard concept for me to understand, but I understood clearly stagli vicino – don’t abandon him, but don’t give him money. This made sense to me and, in the end it worked for our family, for my son.
Today’s Promise: Today I will stay close to my child. Even if he is unlovable and certainly when he is at his worst, I will stay close.